Cemetary Visits

Saint Paul, Minnesota Chapter

"We Need Not Walk Alone"

Cemetery Visits
Are you one of those people who have a need to go to the cemetery often? The non-bereaved frown on that, as a rule. Many people feel there is something morbid about those visits; that you’re obsessing. Unless you know the pain of losing someone you love better than yourself, you can’t understand that need.

Some people need to visit every day; others go now and then, and still some never go back once the funeral is over. There are no rules. If it makes people uncomfortable when you make your cemetery visits, go alone. Don’t feel you need to get anybody’s permission or approval. Call a friend who won’t judge you by the number of miles you travel to and from.

It is important for you to know that how often you go to the cemetery has absolutely nothing to do with the length and depth of your expression of grief. It is important to know that you have the right to do whatever comforts you. It may not seem right to your sister, your brother-in-law or your friends, but that’s their problem. If you try to please everybody by the things you do and say, you’ll find you are not taking care of your needs--and there are no more important ones right now. You won’t always require visits this often, and when you no longer feel this urge to go so often, don’t feel guilty. It just means you are getting better. Accept it as that and move forward with your life when you are able. For right now, do what makes you feel better.

Mary Cleckly, TCF, Atlanta, GA

For More information about the Compassionate Friends, visit the national Web site at: www.thecompassionatefriends.org

Send mail to webmaster@tcfstpaul.org with questions or comments about the Saint Paul Chapter web site.