When It’s Hard to go Back a Second Time!

If you have attended a compassionate friend’s support meeting, you know that discussions can have a rough effect upon your feelings and your sadness. If it happened to you at the very first meeting you attended, it may have felt devastating. Your first encounter might feel like the hardest thing you’ve done since the death of your child.

We are not surprised then, when we learn that some say, “NEVER, NEVER AGAIN WILL I EVER EXPOSE MYSELF TO SUCH PAIN!” “I won’t go back a second time!”

We’re not surprised. We are concerned and we care about you. We write to you who may have decided not to go back to a meeting a second time. We write to you as well as a group of people who have hung tough together through a lot of pain. What we exchange with each other for sharing our pain is love, care, affirmation and understanding.

We think about people in the months and years recently past that never came back to a second meeting. We wonder – How are things going for you? Are you paying attention to your grief work in ways that are helpful?

Most Compassionate Friends understand the “WHY” of I’m not going back there again. And we know that Compassionate Friends meetings aren’t necessarily for everyone. However, are you sure it isn’t for you? We are truly thankful if you are finding your way through your terrible loss. We also rejoice with you in you growth and wish you courage and strength along your journey to healing.

However, if staying away is how you avoid the pain of your grief, you may be staying away for the wrong reason. You see, there is both comfort and healing in sharing the pain of your grief with those who walk where you walk. Together – “we walk through a valley that is as dark as the shadow of death.” When you can do that, you will discover you are not alone! That discovery is one of the early steps in your own healing. Join us again for a second, third or fourth time. We are your COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS!

--Tom Jones, TCF, York, PA

For More information about the Compassionate Friends, visit the national Web site at: www.thecompassionatefriends.org

Send mail to webmaster@tcfstpaul.org with questions or comments about the Saint Paul Chapter web site.